I have my share of emotional
wounds also and I struggled with
them for many years - trying to
solve them by reading books,
taking courses, trying to live a
reasonably good life. But my
hurt and anger remained with
me no matter what I did on my
own. Then, at my wit's end, I
found a good therapist who
worked with people suffering
from post traumatic stress
syndrome, adult children of
alcoholics, incest. I spent 10
years seeing and talking to her,
most of the time traveling 50
miles there and 50 miles back
home. I also paid a fee (without
any insurance) every time.
I can honestly say that the time
and money I spent was worth it.
Talking with someone objective
who really listens to you means a
great deal. I know! I am living a
much happier life now and I've
even managed to forgive the
people (family members) who
Find someone who you feel
comfortable with and make an
appointment. You may have to
"shop around" but it will be
worth it!!! Best of Luck to You!!!! Sounds like you have a real self
esteem problem, take it from
one who knows. I have often
done the same thing.
No one wants to keep on trying
and getting nowhere. I have real
"trust" problems. I want to trust,
I really do, but there is always
something there in the back of
my mind that doesn't believe it. I
think it was from the way I was
raised. Never allowed to make
decisions on my own, a father
who made me feel incompetant.
It sucks, we try and try to look at
ourselves objectively, but I have
found it almost impossible.
I have a friend who is trying to
help me. It does, and then I go
back to feeling like a nothing. I
tried God too Shashaa, and it
Sometimes I think, we just have
to take a leap of faith, and
believe our friends who say
positive things about us, stop
overthinking things, stop looking
back at our failures, stop
worrying about whether we are
making the right decision, and
second guessing ourselves.
What's the worst that can
happen? We are already living a
life of hell. (I think I am talking
to myself more than you!)
We drive people off with our
own insecurities. We feel
unlovable, but the truth is, we're
not. It's just what other's have
programmed into us.
Look at your life. What have you
ever done to deserve to feel this
way about yourself? Probably
GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE.
That's what I am trying to do.
You are a kind, loving person.
See that. See how you have
loved people, and that you have
done the best you can. See the
people that love you.
You are not a freaking doormat,
you just have to see who you
really are, and what you have
done to enhance other people's
Love you Shasha!! Stop seeing
yourself as a failure, there are
people out there who love you!