Telling someone that you love
them without words can be
more powerful and
meaningful than the words
themselves
Although words are certainly
powerful-you can say wonders
when you say nothing. In a
relationship the first time you
hear the words ‘I love you’, your
heart melts and your knees
become Jell-o. After awhile, it is
not that the words lose meaning,
but they can lose the effect they
use to have. There was a time in
every substantial love affair that
saying I love you, ended a fight,
or got you out of hot water.
Years later, when the words
probably mean more than they
did in the beginning,
unfortunately don ’t typically end
fights nor do they have the
ability to cool tepid waters. In an
established relationship it is what
you do to show that you love
someone that matters-not just
what you say to them. Telling
someone that you love them
without words can be more
powerful and meaningful than
the words themselves. I asked a
group to give an example of I
love you, without the words, the
replies were simple and personal
for each individual and each
relationship. The simplicity of
each reply demonstrates to me,
that love does not have to be as
complicated as many of us make
it. It is what we will let it be. Just
as we toss out last weeks
leftovers-many of couples toss
out relationships believing that it
isn ’t all it should amount to.
Perhaps to see how simple and
kind love is-is to post the replies
of the people that see love for
what it is in their lives.
“Before I had children, I use to
write little love notes on a
napkin and include it in his
lunch-I rarely make his lunch
anymore because I am chasing
my kids around the house trying
to get them dressed, but once in
awhile when I know I haven’t
been showing him how much I
truly love, appreciate and do see
all that he is doing for our family
and future together-I will write
him a note, even if it is on a
post-it and stick it in his brief
case or on the dash in his car. I
write something like- “you mean
the world to me and to our
family, I hope you know that-
have a wonderful day, we will be
here waiting for you xoxo ”,
stated a mother of two, whom is
trying to reconnect to her
husband after a period of
change and difficulty.
When taken from career woman
to stay at home mom, this
woman ’s husband recognized
that, she needed a break from
the kids, just as he needs breaks
at work. “My husband will do
something like, run me a bubble
bath. He will have a relaxing CD
playing, with candles lit, a glass
of white wine waiting along side
my journal and favorite writing
pen. He will walk me to the door
of the bathroom, kiss my
forehead or cheek, and say
don ’t rush-I have the kids taken
care of, for as long as you want
to stay in there. He then closes
the door behind his as he walks
away, usually to the screams of
the kids in the back of the
house. That ’s when I know that
he loves me and that’s when I
am reminded why I love him as
well. ”
April Van Loan from Hawaii
replied, “Jimmy buys me irises for
no particular reason, just
because he knows they're my
favorite and because he knows
how much I like having fresh
flowers in the house. Plus, he
pretty much let me move into his
"bachelor pad" and do whatever
I want to make me feel more at
home. I've April-fied his place,
painted walls, hung pictures,
candles everywhere.He never
complains and in most cases,
even helps me do it and admires
it afterwards. My favorite thing
to do for him is to bring him
meals to work when I'm off; it's
nice to still have dinner together
even when one of us has to
work. I also like to pick up what I
like to call little "happy gifts" for
him when I'm out shopping for
other stuff. I know his favorite
kind of t-shirts so maybe I'll get
him one of those, or if there's a
sale on cologne, I'll pick him up
a new bottle of that. Just
anything to let him know I'm
thinking of him all the time, even
while we're apart.
I think the most touching thing is
how much he's always welcomed
my dogs into his life. My other
dog passed away in April but I
still have my girl and he's so
wonderful w/ her...even more
patient with her than I am most
of the time. Really makes me
confident that he'll be a great
father when the time comes for
that. ”
Virginia Susan Cherniss speaks of
her love relationship between
her and her husband, “Chris
irons my scrubs for me every
morning without fail...and he
pays enough attention that he
knows which ones I wear on
what day! And I just asked him
what I do for him and one thing
he likes is that when I am at the
grocery store I always try to pick
up a new, exotic beer that I think
he might like because he brews
beer at home as a hobby. ”
Thomas Karl Redwine, a
Photographer in San Antonio
Texas,believes that it is his wife’s
tremendous patience that shows
her love for him. He goes on to
say, “It is those moments when
she never forgets the way I like
(or love) something. She
understands my passions both
physical & mental and does her
best to oblige and surpass my
very silent hopes. She is a Saint -
and I AM the most fortunate
Spouse in the world! Also when
she tells me I am handsome and
you can tell she really means it.
Recently disabled she too has
taken this in stride and does
everything she can to make
every day less of a conquest or
failure and more of a shared,
though sometimes harrowing,
experience of love and
partnership. Sometimes the
shared look in the middle of a
'disaster' means more than any
look in the middle of a normal
day - she is my partner & I her's
I hope in every way. ”
Zulema Ann Tomlinson describes
her husband as one of the most
caring people she has ever had
in her life. She described some
of the little things that he does,
“ My hubby sends me texts saying
good morning, have a good day.
He stays home with all 4 kids so I
can get an hour to myself at the
store, his favorite way of showing
me that he loves me is wrestling
with me. I always have to watch
my back or he will tackle me
when I am not looking, oh and
he calls me Putta which is just a
little nickname he gave me, but
the cutest thing of all is that he
will wink at me... on the other
hand, I’m not really sure how I
show him I love him other than
saying it! I think I am so
consumed with the kids that
sometimes I forget to stop and
do something nice for him. Now
thinking about it, I need to show
him more often.”
Living in a society where love is
looked upon as an accessory, we
take for granted what it truly is
and what a gift we are receiving
from another human being.
Sometimes love isn ’t fireworks,
it’s the flame of a single candle.
It may not be bright enough to
light up the entire world, but it is
always there as a light at the end
of the tunnel, giving you
something to walk towards when
darkness renders your life. We
are all human, and although
some of us have a rough exterior
and thick skin, when cut, we will
all bleed. A single simple gesture
of kindness, respect and
compassion to show someone
how much you love them, can
never come at a bad time. Why
be there to say I love you, if you
are not willing to make the effort
to show it. What should be such
an effortless affection should be
the love that you wish to hold
onto-and to take it for granted is
a cruel, careless act that may
leave you without the blessing
that, I love you truly is.
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