Do you run from relationships? If so, how?

I keep “shutting down” people...
I am too bold, assertive,
aggressive, mean (not nice),
irritable, crabby, have hidden
anger maybe, tell them things
drive them away... and state my
opinions without thinking about
others. I “push people away”.
The guy I love gave me chances,
but I “blew it”. The best way for
a guy to get rid of me is to love
me …then I run. I give him more
reasons/excuses to run. I don't
encourage them or tell anything
good about me. A guy will have
to break through my walls/
defenses if they want to be with
me. Maybe they will never take
the time/effort to get to know
the real me … then miss out on
the best relationship. I ask God
to help cleanse me, heal my
emotional wounds and restore
my ability to relate to people ….so
I am not alone the rest of my
life. What is your experience
about getting started back in life
again?
You have had so much on your
plate.
You have continuing health
issues, emotional problems
associated with your illness and
this must affect your personal
life.
Relationships are hard for very
healthy people!
This is about you and not
anyone else! And your self
esteem and self love.
This most likely goes back to
your childhood. It relates to your
relationships with your parents
and how you were treated.
You fear love and commitment.
Where you denied love and
commitment as a child? Has it
brought you pain?
You have built up a fear of
opening up to others. You fear
being hurt or rejected. So you
put up a wall and call out the
soldiers!
You need to diverse yourself of
your demons (no, not those
ones) your inner insecurities and
fears.
You need to talk them out or
write them down. Talking /
writing brings out the issues and
airs them. It is good therapy. You
really should see a counselor, I
know they are not cheap!
Open up word on your
computer and write down your
relationship with your mother/
father etc. Express how you feel
and what emotions you hold. Let
any feelings out!
Then write about yourself and
who you feel about you! Be
honest.
Once you can deal with past
emotional scars you can move
forward and make a better life
for yourself.
It's like carrying around a great
weight. It holds you back.
You must heal the past to move
forward.
I'm sure God will want you to
work through your problems to
free yourself!